Super Mario Bros. Beta Testing

In a nondescript Williamsburg warehouse Wednesday night, I put on a moustache and strapped on a harness attached to bungee cords that lifted me into the aurulent light. It was Nintendo Amusement Park beta testing night, and I had signed away my life on a dubious waiver form.

A team of Interactive Telecommunications (parse that) geeks/artists have constructed a Physically Augmented Reality, leveraging mechanical technology to give a player super powers in a three-dimensional obstacle course. See sketches for information on the haptic winch and other details.

Still in rudimentary design, the N.A.P. had no shortage of volunteers willing to chase that fleeting moment of zero gravity or the satisfying crunch of smashing a Goomba. The team set up three different games:

1. The Box: maximize vertical jumps to hit the box and get the mushroom
2. Bob-omb: avoid the Bob-omb by using lateral/spinning motion
3. Goomba: smash the bloody Goomba!

I played all three games (very few played #3 because it had to be reinflated with a high-tech desk fan). Let’s just say it’s harder than it looks: ten minutes in that harness is tougher than an hour at the gym. A course like this would greatly benefit Generation XXL (they should put that in their proposal). I had gotten so good at the Bob-omb game that it went on for an eternity—perhaps fifteen minutes. Everyone kept the game going, thinking I was having a blast. I came close to vomiting. Wired chose that moment to interview me: a panting, sweaty, disgusting, and exhilarated mess.

I wanted back on five minutes later. It ranks as my favorite night of 2006.

Cross bar mechanically adjusts for each player's height.

Human hamster wheel!

Prepping for a trial run (note the beer on the table).

Bob-omb, Luigi, and Dan (head of project)

Goomba! Smash!

Super Mylene looks good in a moustache.

"Crazy Box Guy" Michael taunts Mylene.

Getting locked and loaded

Fuck. Yeah.

My moustache fell off with all the sweat.

Close to vomiting (but full of joy): coincides with Wired interview.

Fatigue. Bruises. Laughter.

Bruises that will heal

Compelling video footage!